She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
