We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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