Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
