You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
