Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
