That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
