I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
