he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dicks are not precious.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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