I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
