I think im going to throw up on grandma
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
smell my finger.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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