Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
No more Irish car bombs ever.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
