You're completely useless in the revolution.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
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Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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