I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
