There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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