We won't sleep together?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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