if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
