yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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