K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
