What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Randomize