Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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