Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
