weddingsv make me drug and hornr
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
