Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
