Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.

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(704): I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum. http://tfl.nu/041y

Replies (11) Good night (579) Bad night (2735)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.

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(715): i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick. http://tfl.nu/ongn

Replies (27) Good night (6418) Bad night (943)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over

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(704): we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over http://tfl.nu/0v4z

Replies (14) Good night (4797) Bad night (1240)
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(757): View more from Virginia

you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.

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(757): you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK. http://tfl.nu/qo45

Replies (24) Good night (1390) Bad night (3179)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....

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(701): Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of..... http://tfl.nu/svr5

Replies (6) Good night (736) Bad night (2878)
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(310): View more from California

The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?

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(310): The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME? http://tfl.nu/y4zz

Replies (7) Good night (2774) Bad night (710)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.

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(501): If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame. http://tfl.nu/x1of

Replies (16) Good night (830) Bad night (1864)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.

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(815): I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn. http://tfl.nu/iw95

Replies (1) Good night (1569) Bad night (682)
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(409): View more from Texas

i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.

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(409): i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes. http://tfl.nu/ajvi

Replies (3) Good night (1272) Bad night (593)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.

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(952): Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/n35v

Replies (6) Good night (1093) Bad night (1237)
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(706): View more from Georgia

From one hot mess to another... Get it together.

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(706): From one hot mess to another... Get it together. http://tfl.nu/0xgv

Replies (1) Good night (700) Bad night (295)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits

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(775): He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits http://tfl.nu/c5ul

Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (498)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.

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(612): I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps. http://tfl.nu/1h6s

Replies (4) Good night (1654) Bad night (271)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole

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(913): Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole http://tfl.nu/jf5e

Replies (2) Good night (317) Bad night (532)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.

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(913): Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again. http://tfl.nu/khdg

Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (255)

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