Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?

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  (541): In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it? http://tfl.nu/ati9
  Replies (6) Good night (978) Bad night (1427)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out

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  (504): i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out http://tfl.nu/wsgl
  Replies (65) Good night (1634) Bad night (4570)
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  (212): View more from New York

  so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before

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  (212): so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before http://tfl.nu/29hu
  Replies (16) Good night (2089) Bad night (4486)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.

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  (605): We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy. http://tfl.nu/7hz1
  Replies (41) Good night (11865) Bad night (708)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?

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  (731): We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country? http://tfl.nu/p4z6
  Replies (37) Good night (4713) Bad night (1237)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up

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  (786): If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up http://tfl.nu/h8cl
  Replies (14) Good night (5510) Bad night (1355)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate

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  (630): I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate http://tfl.nu/l99f
  Replies (8) Good night (1407) Bad night (1152)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME

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  (908): Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME http://tfl.nu/m336
  Replies (18) Good night (2602) Bad night (741)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"

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  (732): Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??" http://tfl.nu/dlt9
  Replies (7) Good night (1095) Bad night (588)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.

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  (937): Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me. http://tfl.nu/hltr
  Replies (16) Good night (951) Bad night (1572)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.

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  (419): She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared. http://tfl.nu/zba1
  Replies (9) Good night (2753) Bad night (722)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours. 

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  (778): Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.  http://tfl.nu/s2ri
  Replies (1) Good night (578) Bad night (433)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone

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  (585): Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone http://tfl.nu/e7f7
  Replies (0) Good night (576) Bad night (315)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.

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  (928): Well I was going to go home but vodka happened. http://tfl.nu/0ttq
  Replies (4) Good night (792) Bad night (316)
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  (805): View more from California

  YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.

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  (805): YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE. http://tfl.nu/6feq
  Replies (5) Good night (638) Bad night (265)

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