Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
