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I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
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