Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.

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  (336): If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions. http://tfl.nu/lybr
  Replies (54) Good night (758) Bad night (1553)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.

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  (843): I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out. http://tfl.nu/mzmx
  Replies (7) Good night (1002) Bad night (4048)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.

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  (617): I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples. http://tfl.nu/l51o
  Replies (10) Good night (1065) Bad night (3012)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.

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  (570): hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help. http://tfl.nu/nfdk
  Replies (11) Good night (2679) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.

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  (616): We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style. http://tfl.nu/liij
  Replies (2) Good night (2090) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays

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  (913): Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays http://tfl.nu/wo2m
  Replies (3) Good night (915) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."

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  (270): You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money." http://tfl.nu/lp5j
  Replies (6) Good night (2331) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee

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  (515): officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee http://tfl.nu/e1kn
  Replies (3) Good night (627) Bad night (1516)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.

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  (250): Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza. http://tfl.nu/3z2i
  Replies (9) Good night (1979) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.

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  (802): My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/hjrs
  Replies (8) Good night (1358) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.

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  (203): A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM. http://tfl.nu/tstz
  Replies (4) Good night (2421) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck

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  (310): we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck http://tfl.nu/7dck
  Replies (10) Good night (2482) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?

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  (901): No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants? http://tfl.nu/d3zx
  Replies (1) Good night (1004) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind

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  (303): I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind http://tfl.nu/1u44
  Replies (15) Good night (3662) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.

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  (801): When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw. http://tfl.nu/4mnb
  Replies (9) Good night (1067) Bad night (383)

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