Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.

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  (779): Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me. http://tfl.nu/6ngm
  Replies (6) Good night (2998) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  you're out of your mind

  (518): View more from New York

  you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear

  (518): View more from New York

  it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence

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  (518): you're out of your mind (518): you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear (518): it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence http://tfl.nu/wmaw
  Replies (11) Good night (893) Bad night (2299)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...

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  (216): you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito... http://tfl.nu/yq5b
  Replies (9) Good night (4479) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue

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  (617): Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue http://tfl.nu/zfyk
  Replies (8) Good night (4785) Bad night (1448)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.

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  (404): So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B. http://tfl.nu/ianl
  Replies (28) Good night (1350) Bad night (6112)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter

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  (858): threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter http://tfl.nu/n5bo
  Replies (13) Good night (4630) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't

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  (310): I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't http://tfl.nu/g41b
  Replies (13) Good night (2899) Bad night (1266)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge

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  (859): heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge http://tfl.nu/k74f
  Replies (13) Good night (3593) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes

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  (501): I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes http://tfl.nu/3ixk
  Replies (11) Good night (800) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.

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  (704): Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention. http://tfl.nu/qqdz
  Replies (17) Good night (1791) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.

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  (514): Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night. http://tfl.nu/qzgt
  Replies (4) Good night (1273) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in

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  (208): He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in http://tfl.nu/d89r
  Replies (10) Good night (3381) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.

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  (321): Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up. http://tfl.nu/21lu
  Replies (3) Good night (444) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"

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  (717): I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?" http://tfl.nu/je44
  Replies (4) Good night (1009) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??

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  (305): According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well?? http://tfl.nu/xpum
  Replies (2) Good night (625) Bad night (226)

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