may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
