There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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