Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
