it wasn't lemon gatorade
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
