butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
