im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
