Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
