Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
