Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
