Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
