what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
