Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
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It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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