Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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