What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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