I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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