I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
