I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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