Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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