He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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