Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
