she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
