Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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