Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize