is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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