He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize