What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
