So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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