Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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