Your face is a jimmy john
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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