Your tits are I can't wait for
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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