just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
