she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
