we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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