I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
