I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
