It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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