...so i touched it.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
