8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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