I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
