new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
