Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
