She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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