Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's shark week go big or go home
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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